Thursday, September 27, 2007

leaving on a jet plane

i'm headed for vegas! tracey is treating me to a mini-vaykay--ok, that sounds as annoying as it looks--*cough* mini-vacation. caroline and i are excited to be visiting the liberace museum. i don't know why. it's not like i own or have ever owned any of his music. but i love the camp...i also like to camp, but that's a different story. anyway, i'm also looking forward to getting pics with as many elvis impersonators as possible. hey, i can't drink so i have to amuse myself in some way. it's not like i've ever gambled, so i know my money's gonna be gone in the first day unless luck is a lady for me (sing it, marlon!).

in other news, i'm in an oasis mood. i never got into anything after be here now. for some reason i have had "don't look back in anger" stuck in my head all day, so i decided to investigate the band on amazon.com. i didn't realize how many albums they've put out! i've downloaded a few of the newer tracks i didn't have and i really like them. so that is what i'll be listening to on the plane tomorrow. ahh, iPods, protectors of the shy and non-communicative on airplanes.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

...which means throw momma from the tambien

bwahahahahahahaha! i love it. watch the office. seriously.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

move the rubber tree plant? hell, i'm gonna destroy it

randomness: i am revising my wish to be an ant. i needed to be more specific. i want to be a killer army african ant...the dorylus. those bitches are hard-core. skee-skee-skee-skee (my imagined ant noises).

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?

random birthday wishes:

this is an ALL EDGE brownie pan. why didn't i think of this?


wonderful conte pastels

no words needed here.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

your girl is lovely, hubble

i need to meet new people. not that i am tired of "old people", but most of the old people don't live around here anymore. the few that live here are either jackasses or just aren't my friends--they're acquaintances and we really never hung out on a one-on-one basis in the first place. i'll randomly see them every now and then and it's all about the awkward "nothing" seinfeld conversations or the bad memories that their mere presence unwittingly resurrects. sometimes i think it's like the end of the way we were. then i realize i'm being a little too carrie bradshaw about the whole thing. or am i?

sigh.

i wish i were an ant. each little ant is born into a plethora of friends and has a career path--it knows what it's meant to do on this earth. it doesn't have to deal with trivial every day human problems like idiots with bad hygiene or a broken heart or loneliness. plus it can lift something a hundred times heavier than itself. i want to know my purpose. i want to lift an automobile over my head. but i suppose that is what life is, finding your purpose and lifting cars over your head? i don't know.

i know i'm blathering on, and i'm probably not making any sense. my only excuse is is that it's late.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

i want to smash an ice cream cone in his face

i have successfully avoided the "dane cook is a douche-bag band wagon" until now. he has a single out. not a comedy single, mind you. he's singing. yes, i'll repeat that: he's singing. and it's awful.

all this time, i'm wondering why all the dane hate? i think he's funny. a bit hyperactive, obnoxious and loud, but funny. and yes, i think the whole su-fi thing is re-donkulous. how many twenty-something men/frat boys does it take to kill something that was once funny? i had ultimately come to the conclusion that it had become "cool" to hate dane cook, just as it's "cool" to hate quentin tarantino.

but now i understand (the hating dane, not the hating quentin). he's everywhere. and he's wearing thin pretty fast.

stick with the comedy, dane. quit "acting". quit "singing". it's not cute. and you really look like a tool. i've defended you all this time, but now i can only hang my head in embarrassment for you.

stop it.

two for flinching

i had my infusion yesterday. fun stuff, i know...especially since i hate needles. but i've discovered that my aversion to needles has greatly weakened given that my skin is exposed to them quite frequently now. but i still can't watch...and i don't relax until the first aid tape is securely fastened and the needle has no chance in hell of moving--hmm, i just realized i have an odd liking for the smell of the alcohol pads. i don't know. whatever.

anyway, since the season to get sick is quickly coming upon us, my doctor advised that i get a pneumonia shot. ok, that's fine, another needle, i can handle it (is that a run-on sentence? at least i can spell, right?). well, i get the shot and i am forewarned that i may experience symptoms of pneumonia and the area where the vaccine was injected will feel like someone punched me. i usually don't feel the side-effects, so i thought nothing of it.

never underestimate the pneumonia shot. my arm is so sore, i can barely lift it over my head. i'm nauseous and have required 10+ hours of sleep for the past two days. i'm whimpering like a baby every time i have to move my right arm. i get home and immediately crawl into bed. all i want is sleep. hopefully this will go away soon, 'cause having a bout of the pukes while you're running on the elliptical machine is not attractive.

and i get to look forward to the flu shot on my next visit. yay. but at least i'm being looked out for.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

hands like buttuh

i have been getting in the bad habit of going to wal-mart after i go to the gym on saturdays. i'm done working out by 8 a.m., and i've discovered that that is the perfect time to go shopping at what usually is a crowded hell-hole that tries my patience. i call it a bad habit because i tend to waste money on crap i don't need. on this recent trip i did, however, find something useful called saco powdered buttermilk. why the hell haven't i seen/heard of this before? i love to bake, but tend to avoid recipes calling for buttermilk. i mean what the hell am i going to use buttermilk for other than the 1 cup needed for the fussy cupcakes i'm making? plus, in the past, i've confused the cartons of buttermilk and skim milk and, believe me, it was not a good experience. ugh. anyway, this powdered buttermilk will last for years as opposed to weeks. yay.

now i'll just avoid the recipes calling for curry, which
has
to be the most vile spice known to man.

Monday, September 3, 2007

postsecrets i haven't sent in

1. i chew on emery boards.

2. i'm not sorry he bit you.