take me out tonight because i want to see people and i want to see life

ahhh, the sweet sound of the smiths's 'there is a light that never goes out'. that song has been stuck in my head for days. i fell in love with the melancholy band years ago during a trip to busch gardens williamsburg. during the hour ride, my sister and friends took turns playing favorite songs.

i'm sure i popped in something by the police or madonna. i thought madonna was hot shit. she could do no wrong...at least up until the fake british accent. well, i like 'hung up' but that's about it for the newer stuff. anyway, when caroline's turn came 'round, she popped in (i keep saying 'popped in'. it's because back in the olden days--haha--we had cassette players) 'strangeways, here we come'. i immediately connected to the first song, 'a rush and a pull and the land is ours'. it was just such an odd sound, i don't know how to describe it...it was just different.

thanks to my sister and caroline, i was exposed to alternative bands like depeche mode, r.e.m., the red hot chili peppers and the cure. without their influence i'm positive i would have continued to subject myself only to the magical tunes of paula abdul, the bangles and, of course, the police and madonna (or whatever was being played on Z104. i am embarrassed to admit that i owned both milli vanilli's and martika's cassettes. the horror!). not that there's anything wrong with the bangles, the police and madonna (yes, there IS something wrong with paula :P), but broadening musical tastes is something big sisters/brothers are for and, well, i needed to discover something other than safe pop music...and yes, caroline had older siblings--7 of them!

anyway, every time i start singing 'there is a light...' i immediately think of the scene in '500 days of summer' in which zooey deschanel's character sings a few lines to joseph gordon levitt in an elevator. and i don't want that. first of all, the movie is slow, boring and overly appreciated by people who are offended when you call indie films 'movies' (as if the word 'film' makes the POS snore-fests high art. whatever. don't get me wrong, i adore independent movies. they are one of the reasons i belong to netflix. i just hate the superior attitude that some people have because they watch films instead of movies). second of all, is it really fucking necessary for zooey deschanel to sing in every goddamn movie she's in?!

seriously, all of the movies i've seen her in has her prancing about singing in at least one scene. zooey, we get it. you like to sing. you have a band. i think she's cute and i love her bangs, but the singing in movies has got to stop. and i like musicals! i just don't appreciate watching the first eight hours of 'the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford' only to finally manage to get to the final minutes and there's zooey in all her singing glory. it kind of ruined the dramatic pacing for me. i wanted to slap her. actually, i want to slap her every time she sings in a movie. i guess i'll just have to settle for rolling my eyes and writing about it on my blog.

she's crafty!!!

so i was inspired to make some christmas presents. can you tell that i am not the only dork in my group of friends? for those of you who do not speak "geek", the white blobs with the blue swirl are supposed to be "hearthstones". they are, um, magic rocks that teleport you to wherever you've designated your home in world of warcraft. and as for the turnip earrings, go read a harry potter book :D

it happens sometimes...friends come in and out of our lives like busboys in a restaurant...

i don't want to devote a blog entry on this subject...but i need to keep a record of this somewhere so that i do not repeat my very BIG mistake of trusting too easily.

these past few months have been a blur...i met someone i really, really liked--it's been a long, long while since i've felt that way. sigh...let me make this short and sweet: i was well played. and i fell hard. and it is taking me way too long to get over it. unfortunately i tend to dwell on things. it sucks, but it's what i do.

the worst part is, i was warned to stay away and i didn't listen. but do we ever listen when our hearts are in any way involved? i thought i could be that girl...you know, the one that doesn't get attached. i had to learn the hard way to figure out that i just couldn't do it.

so i took myself out of the equation and received no reaction at all. i guess that's what bothers me the most--my burned ego. here i am, thinking about him wondering about the shoulda-coulda-wouldas and he's already found a replacement.

it's funny how truly different men and women are.

on toothbrushes and dating

if a guy you're dating tells you he has a surprise for you, and that surprise happens to be a toothbrush to keep at his place, doesn't that mean something or am i crazy?

i'm not going into the details, but i guess i got the wrong message. i don't get men. at all. in fact, after the last two i've dated, i'm through with them for a while.

i will follow you into the dark

wow. it's been ages since i wrote anything on here. i suppose i'm living up to my self-defined procrastinator status. i've never been able to keep up with a journal, so why i thought i'd keep up with a blog is beyond me.

any news...let's see?

so...i am back to having two jobs. i won't say "i have a second job" because i don't consider either one to be lesser than the other one--i love them both...even though i haven't really started at the new one yet. i train on tuesday! i'm excited.
i'm not that much of a gym rat anymore. i mean, i still try to go every day, but if i skip once or twice it doesn't bother me.
someone STILL has a freaking crush on me. i guess it's not a bad thing, and i should be flattered and all that jazz, but it's annoying when he posts stupid things on his myspace about it. i'm like, dude, you have it IN WRITING that i'm not interested. i didn't talk to you for a year because of the awkwardness. if you are truly my friend, stop it with the mopey emo shit.
i had a birthday. whoo. after 21, birthdays are so not the same.
i watch "heroes".
i'm still single. big surprise.
on that note, i'll sign off :D hopefully i'll be back on here sooner than later!

sleep pretty darling do not cry and i will sing a lullabye

i think i might have a mild case of insomnia...is that even possible? all i know is, i never get to bed until 11 p.m. or later. it's not like i am doing anything important. when i finally do lay down, i listen to my iPod and stare at the ceiling. i don't even take naps when i get home from the gym either. i don't know what's wrong with me. it's like i want to make myself stay up as long as possible to achieve nothing. at least i'm not like christian bale in the machinist. while i consider the whole weight loss thing of christian's insomnia a plus, the deep-rooted raging guilt which caused his lack of sleep is something i don't want on my shoulders.

wakey wakey eggs and bac-y

i have to say that i loved watching the office and lost semi-back-to-back tonight (i guess it is a good thing lost is on at 10, otherwise there would be a conflict of interests for me :P)! being the only two shows i religiously watch, my television will be sorely underused the rest of the week, especially since i put netflix on hold! no more spanish movies for me for a while. "every time i think i'm out, they pull me back in!" yeah. that's sort of what netflix does.

anyway season 4 of lost is really fucking good. i can't wait for the DVDs!!! i am just worried that the season finale will leave me sobbing like last year's. please, please, please spare desmond and sawyer. i'm hoping. but it doesn't look good. and how bad-ass are sayid and benjamin? love.

my previous blog was about my lack of sleep. it's 11:16 p.m. i'm typing a blog entry about TV shows. i blame it on ABC for changing their line-up. i really wanted to be in bed early :(