i need to meet new people. not that i am tired of "old people", but most of the old people don't live around here anymore. the few that live here are either jackasses or just aren't my friends--they're acquaintances and we really never hung out on a one-on-one basis in the first place. i'll randomly see them every now and then and it's all about the awkward "nothing" seinfeld conversations or the bad memories that their mere presence unwittingly resurrects. sometimes i think it's like the end of the way we were. then i realize i'm being a little too carrie bradshaw about the whole thing. or am i?
sigh.
i wish i were an ant. each little ant is born into a plethora of friends and has a career path--it knows what it's meant to do on this earth. it doesn't have to deal with trivial every day human problems like idiots with bad hygiene or a broken heart or loneliness. plus it can lift something a hundred times heavier than itself. i want to know my purpose. i want to lift an automobile over my head. but i suppose that is what life is, finding your purpose and lifting cars over your head? i don't know.
i know i'm blathering on, and i'm probably not making any sense. my only excuse is is that it's late.
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