i have always wanted to be melanie wilkes...you know, the altruistic nemesis of scarlett o'hara. but i just don't have the patience to be that nice. she never passed judgement or said an unkind word no matter what was said or done to her. i look to miss melly when i'm being a complete bitch. i guess you could say she's one of my "fictional heroes". her compassion and understanding and willingness to forgive are things i really admire. i consider melanie to be the strongest of all the gone with the wind characters even though she was physically one of the weakest.
it has taken me most of my life to learn this, but i realize that i can't hold on to anger; it only holds me down. i don't want to be a bitter, ugly person--i don't want to be a miss havisham. remember her hateful ass from great expectations? i am utterly repulsed by her and have feared i'd end up that way ever since i read the book. i want nothing to do with rotting cake and tattered wedding dresses. that will never be me ("that'll never be me, that'll never be me. that'll never be, never be me. NO...NO, NEVER, NEVER, EVER. and don't you EVER THINK IT. " haha. i love say anything--the movie, not the band).
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